your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
