it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
