Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
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driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"