Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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