i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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