im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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