This girl is more easily done than said...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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