He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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