And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize