I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
