I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
