it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
