I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
