and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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