I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
