Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
