so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
