For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
