physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
