So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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