I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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