Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize