But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
