Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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