Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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