laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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