bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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