My cat gives me a boner
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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