if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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