Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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