love makes seman taste better
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
