He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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