and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They have beer where we have blood.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
