so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
