well most of my day revolves around power hour
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
