i barfeds in our rink
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
