therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
