Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
