the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
