Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
