Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
