Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
