i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
