We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
