I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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