therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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