thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize