Kiss
Puke
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
