Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
