So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize