did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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