Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
