...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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