so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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