Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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