10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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