They should really pass out barf bags in church
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
