Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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