Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
