Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
