He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
