Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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