i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
